I’m writing this from a vacation trip and I just witnessed a social interaction worthy of publishing.
My 2 year old is bored. He has *nothing* to do and is going back and forth with his siblings seeking their assistance to do something fun. As a dad of 7 kids I can tell you that children are *master* negotiators and we can learn tools from them that can help us in business.
After being turned down several times by others, Noah turned his attention to his oldest brother, ten years his senior. Again, he went in with his best outcome – that his brother would agree to supervise him as he explored the great outdoors.
In no uncertain terms, Joel told him “No, I will not help you.” Noah’s response? A positive question: “Not yet?” Sure enough, moments (and several requests) later he had talked his way into having Joel fix him a fresh cup of apple juice.
Here are three takeaways.
- Persistence – Just because someone tells you no, that doesn’t mean that the final answer is no. He had a second, and a third option available.
- Positive attitude – I’ve long said that God makes puppies and children cute, so you don’t kill them. A smile and a big-eyed plaintive look has worked wonders for my two year old. You’ll be amazed how much better your negotiations will fare when you have a positive attitude and gentle demeanor.
- Re-positioning works! Noah interpreted the “no” as a “not yet.” He immediately re-positioned Joel’s response in terms that were favorable to him – letting Joel know that he wasn’t taking Joel’s first response as his final answer.
As I wrap up this post, Noah has been enjoying his juice and has settled in next to another older brother to see what excitement he can find.
I have a feeling that Noah’s going to end up getting a lot of what he wants from these tips. Which one has worked well for you?
Very funny and also very true.
Good article.
Thanks
G
Gary,
Thanks for the feedback. I get lots of laughs and lessons from my crew!
Tom
Great observation Tom. Thanks for sharing it with us.
In the book Slight Edge, Jeff Olson writes about the way we mastered to “walk” when we were child. 90% percent of the time we try to walk, we were on the floor, but we did not give up! We never say “that’s okay, walking is not exciting anyway..”.
I think I should be a “child” time to time!
Mustafa.
Mustafa,
You’re really onto something. I’m thinking this could be a “pair of glasses” I could put on – to see things like a child as a tool to help me better evaluate my next steps!
Thanks!
Tom
So just because they say “No” doesn’t mean we have to hear “No.” I like that & will keep it in mind. Smart young man you have there… look out!
Jack,
That’s exactly right. He did the same thing last night. At bedtime he asked “Mom, can I watch a show?”
Mom said “No. It’s bedtime.”
We teach our older kids that if they have new or more information we didn’t have that they have permission to “appeal” a decision. The two year old doesn’t understand that yet, but man, did he appeal!
“Mom, my sisters watched a ‘girl show.’ My older brothers watched a ‘boy show.’ I want to watch a Noah show.”
Good stuff. Mom knew she was going to clean up the kitchen anyway, so she allowed him to watch. GREAT negotiator!